I'm not going to say I hate New Year Resolutions. I hate breaking them. But hey, making and breaking is kind of the Circle of Life, you know? New cylces, new thoughts, new selves.
I'm not going to say I want to lose weight, though I do and hopefully will. I'm not going to say that I'll travel more, or less, or that I'll appreciate things more, though I hope I will. I'm not going to say I'll live graciously, because zoethe 's got that covered and is better at it than me and I've been dealing with the pressure to be gracious and nice above anything else most of my life.
I'm going to tackle my worst habit. The thing that causes me the most setbacks and grief and stress.
I would like to stop procrastinating.
I'm terrible about this and it's going to take more than a year to stop fully. I put things off way too much, and then it piles up and I feel overwhelmed and I don't do the items on the list because I feel terrible about not having done them. It's a shit cycle and I'm going to work, without causing myself more stress by saying OMG I HAVE TO DO IT ALL NOW, on doing things as they come across my desk rather than putting them all away for a later date.
And of course, I will make more terriers happy this year than last year.
Lastly, whenever New Year rolls around I think of this post from 2004, which was one of the first Serious Posts I wrote on LJ. It said everything about my life then, and I look at it now and am so grateful that I have passed out of that dark place and into a kind of light. Yet it's still a touchstone for me, the final image of the post, a psychic place of both rest and sorrow that I return to again and again to put everything I am and know now into perspective. Old worlds, shifting into new ones. It's not such a bad thing to celebrate.