Living for the Revel (catvalente) wrote,
Living for the Revel
catvalente

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My Secret Identity

Just got a call from yagathai .

Y: I need a fairy tale consult!

Me: Hit me!

And I helped with fairy tale identification and recollection of events involving pearls and frogs. But I kept thinking: dude, this should be my real life.

I should have an office with a frosted door that says:

C.M. VALENTE
FAIRY TALE CONSULTANT
Available at a moment's notice for all folkloric emergencies
 
Suspect your stepmother is wicked or otherwise fraught with mythological peril? Turned into any of the following animals: donkey, frog, goat, bird, lion, hydra? Found a kid with skin as white as snow and lips as red as blood on your doorstep? A mystical sword in your walk-up? Need to do something about a pesky local prince? Your 401k turned to acorns and skeleton leaves? Let my goblin beautiful assistant make an appointment for you right away.

And then one day this tall, long-legged, drink of magic potion would walk into my office in a trench coat and tell me about her brother with a swan's wing for an arm, and I would be whisked into a world of adventure and intrigue, with revolvers and red lipstick and fedoras.

One of these days, I tell you. One of these days.
 

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