Living for the Revel (catvalente) wrote,
Living for the Revel

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Research Query

I'm a little reluctant to make this post, but I think it's important, so here goes.

I'm working on finishing Palimpsest starting next week. Now, this book has a lot of sex in it, for a lot of reasons. It's important to me that all four major characters are functionally bisexual, especially considering the plot element of the sexually-transmitted city access some of you may remember from the short story. This is not a shy book when it comes to sex.

I have no trouble talking about sex between men and women, or women and women. I know all about both, having, you know, done it  once or twice. But I am minus the necessary experience to write authoritatively about love between men.

Now, I've read and watched porn and I've read a great deal of books which have m/m sex in them--largely written by women, actually. (Is spit-lube really that common? I highly doubt it.) And I've heard the mockery of such scenes as unrealistic, and while I have a good idea of everything physical that goes on, I don't know anything about the intimate experience of being a man making love to other men.

And I want to do it well, I want to do it right. This is extremely important to me.

So I'm asking my gay or bisexual male friends on this list to talk to me about it. Email me, for privacy's sake, if you like, (comments are also screened), but if you would be kind enough to help a girl out--what bothers you about the sex scenes you've read, if anything? What do you want to see? And most important and most strange for me to ask--what does it feel like? What, if you've had sex with women, is different beyond the obvious? (I could go on for hours about what's different with a woman as opposed to men, if reciprocation is desired by any other authors out there.) I'm looking for the specific, the peculiar, things not obvious to your local bisexual author girl, both receptive and penetrative experiences.

Yes, I could read a book. I have. I'd rather ask, I'd rather listen to real humans. I know this is a private and personal subject, but I'm trying to treat us all with equal dignity and love and realism. I very much appreciate anyone who shares their thoughts.

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