However, I am working in this independently-owned coffee shop in Westlake, and all their tables are white plastic, and all their walls yuppie pastels--light pumpkin, sage, butter yellow. And all I can think is:
It's like being inside a Mac.
My God, it's full of stars...
Anyway. This makes me make up Mac/PC commercials starring Starbucks and Mojo's. Which I should not be allowed to do.
SB: We give money to poor children in Africa. If you don't buy from us, you're actually stealing from starving kids. You like kids, don't you?
Mojo's: We have really crappy coffee and flat-looking pastries, and, weirdly, photos of hummus on the walls, but hey! We have free wireless! And girls playing guitars on Wednesdays! And we're looooooccaaallly oooooowwwwned! Drink crappy coffee--save the soul of corporate America!
SB: We are greedy and will absolutely not give you free wireless. And if you like doe-eyed ingenues wailing Joe lies when he cries! on a barstool, well, whatever. Buy a CD off the rack behind you. But when you have wireless, you just fritter the day away posting to your LJ, so you know you'll come back eventually.
Mojo's: We play the Indigo Girls all day long!* We put the only power outlet in the place right next to the children's play area! Which has loud, throwable toys! Because we are so easy-going and up with life!
SB: *withering stare*
Mojo's: Organic? Sort of organic? Pictures of organic things?
I should not be left alone to amuse myself during the day.
*Not a joke. Nothing against the Girls, I even recognize the album, but there is something in a very special coffee shop that advertises "solace" on their menu and plays the Indigo Girls in their perfectly white interior that makes me shudder, deep, deep inside.
EDIT: EW! EW! Some mom in the play area just opened up a container of ranch dressing for her kid and now the Giant Macintosh Coffee Shop reeks of ranch! *chokes, dies*