April 5th, 2011


A Joke from my Father-in-Law

It's well know around here that justbeast 's father tells the best stories. His delivery is awesome, and they are always improbable and hilarious and often unintentionally upsetting to the American girl who has to be jolted occasionally into the Soviet sense of humor. Honestly, their whole family is a master class in oral storytelling--at Grandma Yelena's funeral in June three of them--Dima's father, mother and uncle--told the same story about their youths three times, in three different ways, over the course of an hour, and it was about the most illuminating thing I've ever witnessed. Also hilarious. Also upsetting. I will post that whole exchange at some point, I promise.

Today it's a simple joke, told while Vadim was telling stories about how he took a side job as a trucker when he was an engineer in the USSR, (and plowed into a house while selling off 10% of the wood to the black market). However, I cracked up. My humanities peeps will appreciate it, I think.

A man takes his young son to the construction site where he works and tells the foreman: "I need a job for my boy, please help me out. He's a good worker, he only needs something simple."

The foreman says: "Of course! We can get him working on this site right away, carrying and measuring and hammering, what have you. 100 rubles a month!"

The man says: "Oh no, that's too much! You're too generous! We only need a job that pays 30 rubles a month!"

The foreman frowns sadly. "I'm sorry my friend. For that kind of job you need a PhD."


You Know, I've Never Seen the Liberty Bell

Portland, I love you. I miss you when I am gone. You have such delicious food, and pretty docks, and bricks and cobblestones and steeples. Also my house and my island and my bed, which are all the best.

I have two days at home before I'm off again, so we are tucking in, making steaks with coconut peanut sauce and chocolate chip pretzel cookies, and watching us some...well, probably not Deadwood because it's depressing. Something. Movie date night in. And working during the day, because I have a million things due, and my office for another month--and it looks like I get to have it every winter! My accordion teacher says she'd be happy to have me rent it while she's gone each year, and this means delightful winters full of books and snow and watching the ferry come in.

Also Toby says NEVER LEAVE AGAIN. NEVER. (Also deal with my fur because when you leave I see a mat specialist and LOOK HOW PRETTY I AM FOR YOU MOMMY.)

On Thursday I'm heading out to Philadelphia. I'll be reading at:

April 7 Between Books, Claymont, DE/7:00pm

April 8:
Will be speaking to the Philadelphia Science Fiction Society at 9pm.

April 9 Towne Book Center, Collegeville, PA/2:00pm

Please come to these things! There's an FB page for the BB reading here, and I'll have Deathless comics and a little raffle for the readings.

Also! Next week I will be in Chicago, reading at the Book Cellar on April 14th at 7! I rarely read in Chicago so don't miss it!

Today is also the last day to post about Deathless and be entered in the massive prize drawing--see details. I'll draw the winner tomorrow.

That's all the housekeeping for today, I believe.

Oh! Wait! Remember when I was like OMG I WROTE A VAMPIRE STORY and it was awesome and way different and bubblegum soccergirl vampire? Well, it's out today, in the anthology Teeth! I reaaaaally want you guys to read it, so I hope some of you get ahold of the antho.

Now I am to work.