April 7th, 2010

prester john

Purses, the Devil

I hate my purse.

Loathe it.

In fact, I've started carrying my knitting bag as a purse because knitting is important--but this is a terrible solution because a knitting bag is essentially a giant sack.

I've been looking for the Right Purse for so long. It feels like looking for the right lover. I mean, I have to carry it around every day. It's more clothes than clothes, because I carry it no matter what I'm wearing. This shit is important, people! For awhile, this leatherworker I met at a con promised to make me one--with the 1558 map of Prester John burned into the leather! But he totally bailed on me and my dreams of a Prester John saddlebag are crushed.

So every time I'm Target or wherever I look longingly for the Right Purse. I never find it.

I mean, the purse I have is fine. Except where it's not. And where it's not makes leather Jesus cry.

I need the following in a purse:

Big enough to hold a knitting project, a book, my wallet, my cell phone, a little bit of make up, sunglasses, and not feel overstuffed.

It cannot be big enough that I feel like Giant Bag Lady.

It has to have compartments for that stuff, or else I am likely to dump a million pounds of crap into the Sack of Doom because why not, and it all disappears there. But not so many that I'll never put stuff in the right compartment because it's easier to just throw it in, creating again a Sack of Doom.

It has to be pretty, and unique looking, so that I don't feel like so much of a grown up frumpqueen or a teenage jellybrain. It can't be neon colored or have flowers or hearts on it. It has to have a long strap, because sometimes I don't have a spare hand. It has to close somehow, because I've been robbed before by people just sticking their hand in when I'm not looking.

It can't make me feel like I'm giving in to Grown Up Mom Purse World. And it can't cost a fortune because I'm, you know, a writer.

Will I ever find it? I despair. And I look reproachfully at my purse in the corner, because it does not satisfy me and never will.

Curse you, purse fashion world that does not conform to my needs!

EDIT: babymonkey  says: I'm thinking you should maybe edit this post to add that your style is sort of old fashioned ornate Victorian, scrolly, keys, maps, stuff.

However, I don't like steampunk enough to be like: stick a gear/key on it, I love it. you know?
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