February 20th, 2010

c is for cat

In Awe

I received a small package the other day.

Inside was this.

elisem  made it, back in January, and I fell in love with it, because it seemed to be me, pouring myself out into all these projects, all these commitments, all this living and working and trying so damn hard for everything, and sometimes I get so empty, with all of that trickling out of me, and in the midst of novel deathmarch that feeling can get intense. Sometimes I get like that. Like the hippo in the icon with this post, an image will grab me and feel so emblematic of where I am and what I'm doing, what I'm winning and what I'm losing.

The pendant came, just as I finished the book. Elise tells me it's from "anonymous friends and fans."

I don't know who did this for me, but thank you so much. It looks like Auryn, from the Neverending Story, when I wear it. So big, resting on my chest. I've worn it just about every day, as a talisman, to fill me up again.

Thank you, thank you, Anonymous. I treasure it so. I am in awe of your generosity and love.

(I love that hippo because it says to me: I may not have been built for this life, like all those fancy horses with their plumes and their golden bridles, but I am big and I am strong and I will bear my knight into battle as nobly as any of them, for I am an Extraordinary Monster.)
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