July 11th, 2007

stfu

Do It Again, See What Happens

I am finally an officially sick and fucking tired of movie villains saying that girls taste like strawberries. The dialogue, which you may remember from such recent examples (other instances welcome in the comments) as Spiderman 3 and as far back, at least, as Goldeneye, with some Buffy villainy in between, is always roughly:

"Nice girl. Tastes like {dramatic pause as though about to say something deep or particularly threatening} ...strawberries."

WHAT.

Girls do not taste like strawberries. Girls taste like girl. Boys taste like boy. Vaguely salty, mostly like skin. Unless they wear strawberry lip gloss, in which case, whatever. And if there is something particularly wicked about saying they taste specifically of red summer fruit, above and beyond the implication that the villain has "tasted" her, I have no idea what it is, but I'm tired of the code for pervert being the poor strawberry, who shudders to think it tastes like human.

Do I even need to get into the image of woman as food? As though he ate her? Yes, it's creepy, but it's starting to sound lazy, the way the villains always say this. And why fucking strawberries? What's less creepy about raspberries or peaches? If it is a male villain and he says a girl tastes like anything, I have started to use the equally ubiquitous dramatic pause to yell out "strawberries!" before he can.

Villains, you must stop. Or I'm going to lick you and tell everyone you taste like cookies and marshmallows. How will you hold up your head at the SuperVillain Meetings then?
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