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Rules for Anchorites

Letters from Proxima Thule


Great post. It's sad because Readercon was one of the cons that looked cool that I wanted to attend some day (maybe when it's two weeks after CONvergence instead of just one week) but this is just untenable.

And the excuses people make for this guy are getting out of hand. It's like they are trying not to implicate themselves.

Of course, Ed Kramer is the worst example of this kind of institutional protection for bad behavior (he also exploits being Jewish for the Jewish community) which is why I will never attend DragonCon.

Thanks for the heads-up on this. Some friends have suggested DragonCon might be worth attending; I'll let them know to skip it.

*Applause* Seriously, that whole thing just... ugh. And the sad part is? I'd never heard of Readercon until all this (Until recently, I was stuck in TX, and only once made it to MA for anything). So this is the first impression they've made on me, and pretty much guaranteed I won't go to it, as a reader with aspirations to become an author. I'll meet my favored authors at other venues instead.

I have been extraordinarily lucky at conventions, in that very little bad crap has happened to me. I'm aware, sadly, how much of that is luck (and in pure demographics, probably a decision to mostly attend conventions catering to an overwhelmingly gay male fandom.)

But I couldn't agree with you more. I love my fans, my fans are AWESOME, and I am nevertheless also a tiny bit afraid of the ones I don't know, because it's a vast horde of people who are aware of my existence in a way that I am not always specifically aware of theirs, and you just can't ever be quite sure. Occasionally I get some rather weird e-mail. And this despite the fact that compared to many other creators, my fanbase is wall-to-wall saints. (We had to literally pull a hoodie up over a friend's head and walk her out in a wedge to get the fans off her at one con. There was no malice, only intense enthusiasm.)

One of the implied contracts you make attending a con is that the staff knows what fandom is like, and knows that some of them are off their rocker or badly socialized or need Poor Impulse Control stamped on their foreheads. The staff will then act appropriately. And sad to say, there IS a hierarchy--as a GoH, I do kinda feel the right to grab security by the ear and complain, while as an attending dealer, I usually just wind up setting up signals with other dealers of the "Do You Need Me To Save You?" variety.

If a con breaks that contract, though, it's done as far as I'm concerned as a dealer AND a guest. And if it breaks it for bullshit reason like "But we KNOW him and he's NIIIICE..." then we are done in ways I cannot even begin to express.

The way the phrase "nice guy" has been tossed around without irony, without even comprehending that this phrase is used to describe EXACTLY this kind of person, amazes me.

GV was not a GOH, but under the GOH in that hierarchy should be authors specifically invited to come. If I was a GOH, I would expect to be taken seriously...but a. do I have to be a GOH in order to get treated like a rational actor in good faith? and b. would I be taken seriously if the harasser was sufficiently well-known?

Because people still talk about what a hoot Asimov was with his bottom pinching. Ellison is still welcome at a lot of cons, even after grabbing Connie Willis's breast in front of 1000 people. I continually hear about disgusting requests by male GOHs and fond reminiscing of the old days when you could coax fans to your room any old time.

Should I have to evaluate my relative fame with every person I meet at a con before I know my risk assessment? Lots of people are more famous than me. Lots of them have poor impulse control. Lots of them are people who have power--editors, board members, smofs--if not name recognition.

Readercon is saying: want to be safe? Get more famous.

It's disgusting.

I was intending to go next year, not least because I'm now a Stonecoast student and several of the faculty, who I like and respect, went this year.

Now I won't. I am quite vocal and loudly so about it when I do get harassed, but I have no use for an event that effectively makes being so useless because it won't enforce its own policies.

One of the shitty things about harassment is that if you have a history of abusive relationships/family, you often feel it is your fault and do not report it, or accept bad treatment because you think you are a bad person. That's pretty much how I have responded to harassment, and my own sexual assault in college. I'm working on it.

And harassers? Seek women like this out. The only thing I think Walling is sorry about is choosing the wrong woman to stalk. He'll know better next time. And that's terrifying.

Nevermind that the whole welcoming geek community thing we’re all so proud of should mean that everyone at a con is one of our own.

God yes, this. All of it, but this line especially grabs me.

I know you don't know me well--you may not even remember me as that friend of seanan_mcguire's who cosplayes Toby. I'm part of the Backup Project more than happy to help be part of your support network.

I'm 5'9" and a tomboy and rarely have trouble with harassment at conventions, but I'm furious that this shit keeps happening.

Considering he's involved with so-far unopposed Worldcon bids in 2016, 2019 and 2020, I find myself apprehensive of both the likelihood that those cons will have anti-harassment policies or be non-hostile to harassment reports from attendees.

(ETA: Which I note because Readercon, being small but far away, has been a slight possibility for a long time, and Worldcons, being big and far away are more likely to draw me.)

Edited at 2012-07-30 04:49 pm (UTC)

I really hope the committees kick him out. But honestly, what are the chances?

Thankfully, it sounds as though a number of people, such as yourself, are taking a stand and making this issue known. I think it is having a positive effect!

I hate to see you intimidated and oppressed by these people. It is unfair for a woman of your talent and following, and in in your position in the public eye--to feel threatened and unsafe in a place where we should all feel comfortable around each other. Though I have heard of fans doing odd things (like cornering Stephen King in the bathroom at Horror Con), I had no idea that this was still an on-going problem or that members of a board are allowed to take liberties with their own policies. It is disappointing and disheartening to hear that inappropriate behavior is being tolerated.

It also pains me to hear that you have experienced harassment first-hand. I would normally implore a friend to stand up and name their attacker that they may be publicly disgraced as a sex offender, but to jeopardize your personal comfort and well-being is also an injustice. You are entitled to your privacy, just as we all are. No matter what anyone's rank, sex or status in a community, no one has the right to touch you or Ms Valentine. No one should be protecting a sex offender. Too bad that in the media, that seems to be the trend these days.

You are my hero. Your strength is illuminating. =)

Thank you so much for writing this, Cat. I want you to know that you should not castigate yourself in the slightest for not going public--although of course I castigate myself! But your first responsibility is to prioritize your own emotional and physical safety; God knows that we live in a misogynist world that encourages us to put everything else first. I do want to tell you that I have a fast-growing petition up at my LJ in support of GL, and based on what you write here, it might appeal. But if it doesn't, no worries. It's a point of information, not pressure.

I saw, and it cemented my decision to post this. Do I need to leave a comment to sign, or...?

Sign me up (Anonymous) Expand
This whole thing with ReaderCon bothers me and you hit a upon the reason.

If they enacted the harrasement ban to get rid of one individual, then their words (rules) have no meaning. It is almost like they created the rule and then forgot about it until prompted by another incident.

Sadly I have seen this sort of behavior at other conventions where they only seem to remember the rules when convinent or pushed.

Being a BNF shouldn't give one powers to avoid if anything they should be held to a higher standard of behavior to set a good example for the rest.

This individual is not setting a good example of fandom as a whole and fandom as a whole will suffer for it in the long term.

Thanks for being public about your experiances, and stating the oh so obvious about the abuse of power and position.

(Gritting my teeth not to go off on a rant.)

I think... just perhaps... that authors should organize themselves into guilds so that cons face collective action when they let this kind of crud happen.

I'm all for collective, grassroots action. Only by participating in petitions like the one circulated by vschanoes and writing letters of complaint to the conference itself can we demonstrate these actions do have consequences.

Monetary and reputation losses can change behaviors. We have to support those who are brave enough to speak up against this behavior.

I am a conrunner, and on a worldcon bid committee--not one of the ones named.

There are discussions going on right now that you aren't seeing and lots, and lots of us are really angry, both that someone has abused his position (ie an enhancement to the sin) and that a convention Board felt it had the right to overturn a policy set by the committee (I am on a sub committee by the way).

Even with internet things move slowly, but there are already ripples.

Edited at 2012-07-30 05:07 pm (UTC)

I very much hope so.

When I see him no longer on the Worldcon committees in question, I will believe that anger has legs.

*applauds* Very well said. That last paragraph absolutely nails it.

Thank you for standing up and speaking out. Nothing changes when people remain silent--and hopefully the voices speaking now will be able to make changes.

Excellent post!
It's bad enough that people in positions of authority abuse their power. It's even worse when a group of people whose job it is to maintain good will within their organization are so dazzled by one person's contribution to fandom that they overlook that person's transgressions. I've seen it in other venues as well. Sometime it's a man being sexually and/or verbally aggressive.Sometimes it's a woman hurling verbal abuse out loud or spreading hurtful lies via whispered gossip. But since the abusers are SO popular and SO valuable to the venue, be it a con or other event, the powers that be find some excuse to either completely overlook or bend the rules and forgive the transgression.

Oh yes, that's BRILLIANT, Readercon - let's make sure he goes under the wire with his harassment, and is more careful about it... Or that he waits three years (although, once a harasser always a harasser) and then goes right back to what he was doing.

Ugh. Won't be supporting that BS.

Or that this becomes an additional thing he uses to pressure women - because OMG, do they want to be responsible for the horrible things that would happen to him if they complain?

Bravo.

I haven't quite finished assembling this train of thought (it's a slow one) so I'm not sure if I'm going to get this out right...

One of the things I'm wondering about a bit is whether we're seeing a sea change in con culture (and maybe, I hope in, geek culture more generally). And if some of it is that we're recoiling in horror from a really icky board decision, at least we're talking about the board decision. And people are talking about harassment, and speaking up when they've been harassed, and having harassment policies.

I don't trust my own recollections and perceptions of cons in my younger years. Looking back at those, how I'd interpret it now is that harassment up to and including sexual assault was more or less an expected part of the social landscape. Either you travelled in a pack and made sure you were surrounded by close friends and kept your guard up... or you could pretty much expect to be harassed at the least (not that travelling in a pack entirely prevented it) and assault was common.

When I was... sixteen? I spent an hour or two one evening hanging out in the lounge attached to a women's bathroom with four or five other women who were also all holing up in the lounge because there was some creepy guy - different guys - who had been giving them shit at an Orycon. (In my case, said same creepy guy eventually crashed a private room party and once again continued to try to touch me despite many strongly stated and public protests on my part. I eventually, extempore, cursed him to impotence, in rhyme in meter no less. Which got him to leave me alone. *shrug* The amusing coda is that something like a year later his fiance came to me and begged me to "remove the curse". Oh, yeah, and then six months after that, having married and then separated from him, she looked me up to tell me that no, actually, I had it right the first time.)

A few weeks after my eighteenth birthday I was raped at a Norwescon. (As many people attribute terrible weight to the word rape, let me clarify by saying that while yeah, it was bad, it wasn't heartbreaking horrible trauma levels of bad. It might not have even been the worst thing that happened to me that month, though for perspective, that was a hell of a month.)

So many of the strong, assertive, independent women of my generation have pretty similar stories to tell. In some ways, the risk was almost, somewhere in the back of my mind, the cost of entry. I could either do all the things women are supposed to do to make themselves womenly and safe... or I could just expect that I was going to have to deal with some really creepy awful behavior. So I took a deep breath, and set my chin, and did. I might make the same decision if I had it to do over again. (I really hope I would kick and scream more now when I did have problems. Though that's less simple, sometimes, than it may seem. When I was raped... I was fairly experienced and educated for my age. And immediately afterwards I ran away and hid and didn't realize for a day and a half that hey, wait, that was rape.)

What is the border between expect and accept? In later years... there is still a lot of this dynamic in geek culture, generally, though I think maybe, in general, it's getting better? But not better so much in terms of "these things don't happen" but "these things do happen, but people are more likely to stand up and say that it isn't right". I've changed a lot. There are levels of harassment that I *did* accept, at some level, much more recently. Oh, yeah, people generally learned that if they pushed my physical boundaries I was likely to put them in a joint lock - but they learned not to try it with me. They didn't learn not to try it with anyone.

So... Ugh. It's an icky dark underbelly. I don't think it's a new icky dark underbelly. And I'm glad a little light is being thrown on it.

Looking back at those, how I'd interpret it now is that harassment up to and including sexual assault was more or less an expected part of the social landscape. Either you travelled in a pack and made sure you were surrounded by close friends and kept your guard up... or you could pretty much expect to be harassed at the least (not that travelling in a pack entirely prevented it) and assault was common.

And these are times that people remember with fondness and nostalgia. That's part of the poison of the culture right now.

I have never heard of this cheesedick before this. Thank You, I'll be watching for him now.
Should it come to pass that we're ever again in the same place at the same time, I hope you know you can count on me and mine if you need a safe place.

I'm disgusted by the Readercon board's inability to follow their own policies, because - apparently - the perpetrator is a friend of a board member, and because of Nice Guy-ism.

However, one of your fans - Requires Meds - has repeatedly called for writers to be attacked (Paolo Bacigalupi, apparently, deserves to have acid flung in his face; others guilty of the crime of being white writers should be shot, stabbed, or blown up). Requires Meds operates anonymously from behind a keyboard, and is a well known gaming troll, so her chances of actually carrying any of the death threats out are probably around zero and I suspect she is merely pathetic. However, I'd be interested to see if you place her in a similar category. I won't accept 'derailing' as an option, either -
I don't think ANY of this is acceptable. I don't care whether it's puppy-eyed, I'm-sowwy leching American men, or wannabe sociopathic Chinese women. It stinks. There seems to be a rise not only in misogyny, but also in generally crap behaviour across the SF sphere, and it's time we put a halt to it.

Whether you accept it or not, wanting to debate Requires Hate here is not remotely on topic and pretty much classic derailing.

However.

There is rhetoric and there is actually attacking a person in the flesh. Her rhetoric is inflammatory. It is intended to be. I do not and have never believed they represented serious threats. Obviously, I do not approve of acid attacks, for crying out loud. But in rhetoric, we exaggerate for effect. DO I wince when she eviscerates authors who are my friends? Yes. Do I mean, when I use that word, that she literally removes their viscera? No. It is a rhetorical effect. She also provides a valuable critical service, says things that often go unsaid, and male authors have said equally inflammatory things and gotten kudos for it--a topic covered on this blog quite recently.

She has disliked as many of my works as she has liked, I would not call her a fan of mine particularly, and her behavior is not my responsibility simply because we are both women or because she has read a book of mine. If you want to argue with her, and call her names, go argue with her and call her names. Today, we are not actually talking about people who write inflammatory book reviews, but an actual attack on an actual author in the actual world, which is not even in the same ballpark.

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Thank you for posting about your decision publicly. Readercon's actions in this case are sickening, and it's useful to know about Walling's involvement in the Worldcons mentioned as well.

Yeah, the involvement with Worldcons is worrisome. I'm attending Worldcon for the first time this year, and now I'm kinda worried if this sort of creep is on staff.

Agreed.

It took me all weekend to say something because, frankly, my Readercon experience was not good; I know others disagree.

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