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I’ll be finishing my run at Charlie Stross’s blog this week, so I should be back with big thought-chunk essays here in my own bed next week. I miss you guys! You are kind of the best commentariat on the internet. You hardly ever skin each other alive!

Elsewhere on the webs, I started a tumblr, (a new one, I could never figure out how to get WordPress to cross post to the T) because my life is a little fucked right now, and I need to unfuck it, ala Unfuck Your Habitat. It’s not really important that you follow it unless you want to hear about my struggles to get a normal sleep schedule on, clean the house, change my basic writing habits, healthify my relationship with my technology, etc. It’s to make myself stick to a plan of reformatting my existence on Planet Earth so that don’t lose my fool mind running on the same programming that I did when I was 19. If I document it, and say I’m Embarking on a Scheme, then I’m much more likely to actually make changes and those changes are more likely to stick. It’s gonna be slow and I’ll never be perfect, but I needed a separate, dedicated space to learn, at age 32, how to be a goddamned grown up.

Plus, the pleasure of posting triumphant gifs is a siren song.

It’s called Girl Unlocked, it is full of gifs because I secretly love them and have tried to keep this space reasonably free of what a total doofus I am. But tumblr, she loves the giffery, so I have cut loose there. Today is Day 1, so of course it’s working great–we’ll see if I can keep up after the newness has worn off.

For those of you in New England, this Saturday is s00j’s show at my house! All are welcome, let me know if you need the address!

Now I go to make hay of the remainder of my day.

 

Mirrored from cmv.com. Also appearing on @LJ and @DW. Read anywhere, comment anywhere.


I'm going to be following this with interest, because I need to perform a similar process of unfuckery.

I needed a separate, dedicated space to learn, at age 32, how to be a goddamned grown up

From my point of view, one is, at your point, either all growed-up already, or embarking on a quest that has no end-point (that is, you can make self-improvement, but the process of learning how to be a goddamned grown up is a lifelong pursuit). Or both?

I could be wrong.

But if I'm right, then maybe it's more about the journey than the goal?

I don't even know if this is a helpful comment to make. If it's not, please forgive me.

Edited at 2012-02-22 08:08 pm (UTC)

This is true, and it is a journey rather than a goal because Things will happen in my life and will require adjustment. I just feel like some rather major lessons were left out of my education as far as how to function--raised by the second wave of feminism I feel like many of us were reared as boys have always been. You don't have to worry about it other than knowing how to clean and cook. Organizing a household is no longer What You Will Be Doing.

But that work still has to get done. By someone or a combination of someones.

Cathrynne, I take your point, but based on what I know of your life from your social media presence, and your career, and the few interviews I've read/listened to, you have way more of your shit together than the average bear. Everyone's got stuff they'd like to work on, and you're doing yours in style (to no-one's surprise), but please don't believe that there's a Magik Sekret Adult Dekoder Ring to be had, because I'm not sure there is one.

The Lessons Left Out of your education seem to have been replaced by a bunch of other ones that you're putting to wonderful, delightful use.

If you want to unfurl a great Unfucking project, that's awesome. But please, oh, please, don't forget that you're here spreading your wonder for everyone, too (incuding most importantly yourself and your family).

Enough of the maudlin from me. Good luck with your goals: I wish you well.

Edited at 2012-02-23 02:11 am (UTC)

If it makes you feel any better, I was raised by an anti-feminist housewife who did her best to instill these things in me, and I even had three years of Home Ec in high school to reinforce these things, and I still can't get a handle on them. I'm pretty sure it's mostly because of ADD, but when you're about to turn 39 and you bear absolutely no resemblance whatsoever to the "with it" adult you were just sure you'd be by now, it's pretty disheartening.

I'm following your Tumblr with much interest. All of this is really resonating with me right now.

Ah, YOU are the insomniac!

zornhau

2012-02-22 08:35 pm (UTC)

Apparently, 8 hours is lie or something.

Read this:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16964783

Odd to see you on Charlie's blog.

Lordy, but I need to unfuck my own head. I may end up following you in this...

I am really enjoying your Girl Unlocked stuff. Especially the power language and the war paint and your mighty ambitions.

I've been trying to get up around 7:30 myself. My ultimate goal is 6:30.

...Making your bed, huh? That, too, I should try. Some days I do, some days I don't. Today I want a nap. If my bed were made, I'd be more hesitant to take one. MESS UP MY BEAUTIFUL BED? Maybe that's the point. Maybe naps are a waste of time. But job hunting is stupidly exhausting, and I'd rather sleep than fill out applications. Aren't I glad I didn't make it? I will make it TOMORROW!!!

I've also been making more lists... That helps me know what actually needs to get done. But when I fail my lists, the failure is, like, DOUBLED!

It is strange, isn't it, what a difference lipstick makes to the day? And jewels. Yes. I must choose them with care. Today is a piece of amber, for luck. That's all I need, and a copper pot. Unfortunately, I only have a copper chafing dish, which doesn't have the same ring, does it?

Boof. Anyway. Your gifs make me laugh. Glad you're coming unfucked.

See you Saturday.

Edited at 2012-02-22 09:03 pm (UTC)

Eeee! I will see you soon!

I like your Tumblr. I have been working toward some unfuckery myself, on many of the same issues. I have done it more gradually, though, with one or two focuses at a time. I have mastered wearing a little makeup most days (I take weekends off), but I do need to check out this eye primer business you mentioned. I have mastered flossing my teeth, also with weekends off. I stopped drinking soda, mostly. I am working on eating more fruits and vegetables. Now I'm trying to get more sleep, and also to get to work earlier. This is incredibly hard for me. I love being up all night. But I have read that lack of sleep makes you fat and stressed, and I'm definitely fat and stressed. After I achieve some success on the sleep front, my goals are:
1. Learn to meditate. Or something else that helps with stress. Tai Chi?
2. Organize my stuff, and reduce my inventory. I am kind of a low-grade hoarder.
3. Get more active.

It looks like I'm doing it all at once because I'm all DAY ONE EXCITE. It won't last. It's a long project. Also I have guests incoming and I'm in NYC next week, so, you know.

The people who say "life's a marathon, not a sprint" are marathon runners. If you're a sprinter, sprint. Just put a bunch of sprints together.

I hope this is more encouraging than discouraging, but I have found that being a grownup is actually a lot like writing novels. You keep having to reinvent it for new situations. Gradually you do get a collection of techniques that often work, and even more gradually (in my case, at least), a set of attitudes so that some situations do not have the total freak-out potential that they did to a 20-year-old. Other situations, however, will keep arising -- I mean that not in the simple future but more in the sense of a mischievous, though not usually outright malign, intention on the part of the situations -- that have quite a lot of freak-out potential.

Some situations are recurrent and can be recognized even in their disguises, but some are just new.

P.


I think this (being a grownup / writing novels) might be likened to a transformation chase - I would reference an exemplare from folktales but I can't find a good, non-rape-culture one.

Anyway, the necessity of transforming oneself again and again in order to survive is definitely a modern-day reality.

I miss you, too. (Although the Writing Advice posts, in particular, chez Charlie, have been awesome).

Argh! Your first tumblr post: that is me. I do all of that — except the writing books part. And I've kinda given up marathon cleaning, or any kind of cleaning at all. I need to unfuck my ass.

I already picked up the tumblr, and for those who prefer to read here I've created an lj feed too: http://girlunlocked.livejournal.com/profile. The feed should start up tomorrow.

I slightly in love with this project already and am going to try to do it myself, only posting in lj as I have a really hard time with tumblr's interface/appearance.

I'm loving the new tumblr! Many of your goals are similar to mine so it's already been very inspiring :).

You are kind of the best commentariat on the internet. You hardly ever skin each other alive!

The more I think about it, the more distressing I find it that this is the standard for really good internet community. (Yes, I've always known this about the internet. But those two sentences encapsulate it very neatly.)

Also, will you share your recipe for chana masala? I like Indian food. But there are way too many recipes on the internet that ARE NOT RIGHT, and I'm always a bit wary of embarking on a new one -- it took me over a year to get the saag right. (But now I can make lamb saag that even my brother will eat, despite the part where it's green. Also paneer saag.)

It's the Smitten Kitchen one!

Also I bought amchoor powder, and honestly it's the best thing I ever did for the quality of my Indian dishes.

After reading your "Girl Unlocked" blog...

Good god! You're in my head!

Seriously. I have a lot of the same issues that you've described. Your journey to Unfucking your life is incredibly inspiring, and has encouraged me to sort of maybe possibly embark on a similar path.

So inspired to also unfuck. The thing is, I KNOW what I need to do to be awesome. I just don't do it. Grrrr.

You want TUmblrize (http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/tumblrize/), which *does* work with Wordpress 3.3.1. Only "prob" is that you have to manually go in and add tags, which as a librarian I would do ANYWAY because that is my virtual card catalog yo, but hey, some people are not like me. But as tags = instant Tumblr goodness, I'd still spend the 3.5 seconds to do it.

ALSO. Name checking you on my own blog in a bit here when I saw your posts whiz on the tweeters about this unfuckery, which lead me back into the dark hole that is tumblr. But I'm fine with the occasional tapping of that vein. Inspiration FTW!


Clarify: Manually and add tags to TUMBLR, not your wordpress. Etc.

Your new Tumblr makes me very happy. I've recently decided to try (try!) unfucking my life, too. Especially the Dreaded Procrastination Issues(tm) and my seeming inability to write a little every day, rather than all at once in a rush of deadline-driven panic.

I am with you! Sending you lots of unfucking love!! <3

Kaz