c is for cat

Rules for Anchorites

Letters from Proxima Thule


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You are very attractive, independent (I won't say "regardless", since that makes it sound like a handicap to be overcome) of your weight.

Weight discussions are always totally fraught, and as someone who used to be Rail Thin and now just Has To Be A Little Careful To Stay Skinny, I generally try to keep out of them. I know two people who used to be morbidly obese and now at the very least (most?) have a below-50th percentile BMI, and I want to tell them "Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!" but I feel like somehow that is ragging on the person they used to be.

It makes me sad that in this whole post, you talk about losing weight in order to be more attractive and accepted, and not about losing weight in order to be healthier and have more energy. Because I think that is the real benefit. Treating weight as purely a societal-acceptance phenomenon paradoxically makes it both harder to remain overweight (because you feel that society sneers at you) and harder to lose weight (because it is easy to say "Screw society for sneering at me! Fat Acceptance FTW!").

So all that is to say 1) You are attractive either way, as you seem to know theoretically in any case, 2) I'm still happy for you that you are trying to lose weight, 3) Hopefully you can make that process self-centered (health, energy) rather than other-centered (societal norms), 4) Good luck!

Well, I'm pretty healthy. I do want to not feel so tired all the time, and be able to do a little more, but for the most part I feel fine. I have low blood pressure, no blood sugar issues. So it's somewhat about health, but I don't feel I'm horrifically unhealthy.

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