c is for cat

Rules for Anchorites

Letters from Proxima Thule

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That's the point. (NB: I am choosing to believe that you are educable and not a drive-by anonytroll. I have optimism tonight.) The beauty culture hurts women of every shape, and because it's pernicious and maladaptive, it operates partly by turning all us human beings against each other, subconsciously holding each other to impossible standards and having difficulty trusting one another to love us for ourselves. Casually scornful, dismissive comments like this one are, er, not exactly helpful or useful to anyone, and they're stuck at the third-form level of this particular discourse.

As far as comments on Cat's original post go—I have too much privilege here to do anything but listen and try to empathize. So: you are heard, and not judged.

I'm still a little thrown by this comment, because I made the point in the post that no one can win at the beauty game, which is the point of the beauty game...I in no way judge thin women. I judge myself for not being one.

It was, I suspect, meant to hurt and for no other reason. Being vulnerable, however, is not a social failure or a moral one. He just ain't playing Calvinball with the rest of us.

Woooooooooah, anon, way to project privilege.

Cat didn't say a damn thing about thing that could even vaguely be read as hating on skinny ladies. So, okay, let's give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're speaking abstractly, like, to the world at large, to all the "real women have curves" nonsense that tends to position women against one another and make everybody feel inadequate together.

It's still not the same thing: it's unnecessary and wrong and bad, but it's a different topic, and it belongs in a different place, and it's derailing, yo.

I am never going to be the girl who's told to eat a sandwich, but some of my nearest and dearest are ... and, yeah, it totally sucks to have strangers feel entitled to tell you what to eat, to judge your body and infringe on your space. That said, it's less pervasive and harmful (insofar as we can play the "compare open wounds" game) and should maybe be discussed in more depth so as to avoid the appearance of trolling, nu?

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