c is for cat

Rules for Anchorites

Letters from Proxima Thule

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Hierarchy of Needs
c is for cat
catvalente
The What Do You Need entry is still going strong--and still getting replies, offers of help and advice--at almost 1000 comments. You guys are amazing. Have no doubt I am reading every comment, and offering what I can when I can, making what connections I can. Those of you who needed signal boosting--I'm going to ask you to reply to a second post because I can't keep it all straight with the deluge of comments. I'll then do a round up post so everyone gets linked to.

And you all have been so open and intimate and brave with what you need--I figure I should be brave too. But only at midnight on a Wednesday, when few enough will see.

1. I need local friends. This is really getting to me and making my life hard and I don't know how to fix it--I have exactly one friend in the area and he's busy most of the time. All my friends are distant. Add that to being on an island and it's so isolating, and my spirits get damn low. If anyone in the Portland, Maine area (I include Augusta, Portsmouth, and all points in between in that, and probably Bangor too) is geeky and friendly and wants to hang out, please comment. I do stuff other than write--knit, make glass and collages, play a very halting accordion, sail, grow things in my garden. I'm a neat person, I swear. It's been very hard to meet people and I can't live in a city where I don't know anyone forever. (But please...and this sucks to say, but if you just want to meet me to get writing advice or ask me to look at your manuscript, don't. I want real friendship, not someone who only cares for my connections. Just ask for that stuff here and I'm happy to share when I can.) The addendum to that is that I would love a local role playing group, like I had in Cleveland. But I don't ask for that, just for other humans who live near me.

2. I need more subscribers for the Omikuji Project. We've lost quite a few over the last couple of months and our housemates moved out so our expenses just went up quite a bit. This is a serious commitment for me and it can't survive without people who want to read it.

3. I need you all to know how beautiful and kind and special you all are. To forgive yourself for not being what you want to be yet--none of us are. We are all a work in progress, and we are all at different stages. It's ok. We are all going to be ok. We have each other, our chosen family, our tribe, and we take care of each other the best we can. I need you to keep on keeping on, and keep the faith, and keep each other going. I need you to smile, and know how very many of you there are just on this one single journal who want to help, who want to connect and share their world. I need you to keep that post going, for everyone who needs it, and I need you to never give up. I swear to you, it will all come out all right. We are undestructable, like the song says. Even if it doesn't always feel like it.

I love you, even if I've never met you.

I purchased the book for my kindle. when i am caught up from being unemployed for 18months, I will subscribe.


My mom is in Freeport. She's pretty awesome. She is a quilter, teaching quilting and also knits and does other things. She loves to read. She's local to you from May to October, then she migrates back to New Jersey... like the goldfinches.

I'm in Portsmouth actually and could use soime more friends north-ward --- most of mine are in Boston. :)

I'm an engineer, who read sf/fantasy, is active in the SCA, and well..I also larp. I believe this qualifies me as a geek.

p.s. plus it dawns on me that I have one friend who is a writer who lives not too far from you - and I should throw this post at her.

Edited at 2010-08-19 11:29 am (UTC)

I second that Redfishie is a very nice lady and a good friend. ;) (I couldn't help putting in shameless plugs for my friends when I saw her comment. I'M HEPPIN'!)

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Ill extend the board game invitation if you ever have an evening to kill in Minnesota. The local favorites are also BSG and Arkham Horror. AH is perfect because it like a Call of Cuthulu campaign distilled into a board game. Even better is that it is a cooperative game so you don't have to worry about the experienced players beating a new player. Everyone wins or everyone loses with one exception.

We also like BSG a lot to the point of creating a full set of character cards based off Futurama characters. We think the cylon agenda cards lose their surprise factor after you've played forty or fifty games with them.

#1 This would be so much easier to address if our definitions of 'near' were anything like similar...

Thank you for this post, Cat. I can't wait to meet you at StrowlerCon!

Thank you for everything you do with your blog. Not only am I a fan (of your novels as well), but I turned my husband on to it. So we can say to each other "OH, did you see what Cat Valente said today? Wasn't that awesome?" Because you are so full of awesome it's hard to imagine that there's any left over for anyone else.

Thanks for #3.

As for #1, I could have written something similar. We moved to Charleston, WV 4 years ago from Madison, WI, and it's been tough going finding and keeping friends. Our shining star friend we met here has gone off to NYC; and it's just been really hard. I do fairly well with my books & my solitary activities, but there's no substitute for a good friend. Sometimes it feels too hard to be here when all my beloved friends are somewhere else.

Wow, I couldn't be online at all yesterday, and that post is amazing!

In Re #3: I feel like this is true for everyone but me.

It's true for you, too, love.

Sending hearthearthearthearthearts. And lots of luck. Thank you so much for #3. :) ♥

*sends hugs!*

Although I am not local to you, I do occasionally make noises about running tabletops games (mostly White Wolf) via the Internet/webcam, and would be more than happy to include you the next time I do? :)

I wish I lived closer. I would love to get to know you better, to hang out. To play Rock Band with you. I second the offer of call me anytime, rant at me anytime I am online, or squee as desired. :)

There are things I need to ask for but...as of now, I am scared and it's all gonna sound wussy and besides, it's inner stuff, that, in the end, I have to supply for myself. Maybe I can ask, later, when I figure out better what it is I really need and what I already have.

But, agian, thank you for these words. You shine, lady. My sky is bigger for having you in it.


Edited at 2010-08-19 12:59 pm (UTC)

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That would be awesome! I'll add you and we should arrange to meet up sometime--I'm often in the Old Port. What suburb are you in?

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If you're talking about me then I have a mix of "AW SHUCKS!" and "Damn< I wish I wasn't so frigging busy." If it makes you feel better no one - NO ONE - has seen me outside of work and my apartment for weeks. Holler next time you're on the mainland and I hope we can hang.

If you're not talking about me then, well... How 'bout them SeaDogs?!

We met at Readercon, I was at your kaffeeklatch and asked you to sign a book for me.

I am not terribly far away (but not terribly close either) and also in need of friends (with no idea how to get them!). I live in MA, ~2ish hours from Portland, knit and spin and journal, garden and love my cats. I'm starting to learn how to preserve food - my freezer is full and I put up my first batches of pickles this summer. I'll be doing tomato sauce this weekend. I haven't written fiction in probably 3 years, poetry in closer to 10, and am not interested in writing advice or publishing connections. If you're interested, perhaps we could get together once a month and spend a day hanging out, drinking coffee, knitting and talking and visiting?

Well, maybe I should figure out a way to be in Boston once a month. There could be a meet up.

Oh man, I totally sympathize with the making friends issue. It's so hard to meet people in a new city when you're not a student! I feel like I'm only just building up a few really solid connections here in Ottawa, after four years!
I wish we'd been there long enough to game. That would have rocked.
Is it possible to sign up for half a year of Omikuji? I'd want to mailed version... will you send to Canada?

Yes, of course. :) No prob. Just paypal half a year's subscription to Cat, and include your address. Canada is no problem, too, just throw in an extra $4.

*hugs* Right back atcha.

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