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Rules for Anchorites

Letters from Proxima Thule

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What do you need?
urban anchorite
catvalente
So shadesong  did this post a little while ago, and I've seen a couple others mirror it, as viralness in the name of the public good is always worthy. I want to do the same, since, well, there are kind of a lot of you out there reading this.

So, please do not be shy. You rarely get what you need without asking for it.

What do you need?

Not "What do you want?" Which is an entirely different question. But what do you need? Are you looking for an apartment, a job, a ride to somewhere, assistance with something? Comment here, and maybe I or one of my readers can help you! The internet makes miracles, we all know it. Read the comments, and see if there's something you can offer.

I realize this isn't what you meant.

bheansidhe

2010-08-17 07:43 pm (UTC)

I need every person to forgive themselves for one thing they're berating themselves for. Today. Just one. If you can only manage five minutes of forgive, that's plenty.

This will result in an overall lightening of the planetary atmosphere. And, baby, I NEED that.

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

manycolored

2010-08-17 07:47 pm (UTC)

It is ok that I am not the best, not world-class, not high-powered, not high-earning, not ambitious, not recognized, not superlative anything. I am a useful person and a force for good the way I am.

I will keep reminding myself of this.

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

catvalente

2010-08-17 07:51 pm (UTC)

This is totally within the bounds of what I meant.

I forgive myself for not having lost the weight yet, for not working when I'm supposed to be recuperating--that seems silly, but I feel a lot of guilt over it. I can manage that for five minutes.

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

mermaiden

2010-08-17 07:52 pm (UTC)

I forgive myself that I wasn't a published author at seventeen. All my life I've held myself to ridiculous expectations I wouldn't wish on a world ruler. I'm so compassionate to other people, and I can't spare a drop for myself? I'm learning and trying, a little more everyday, to show myself kindness.

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

caudelac

2010-08-17 08:01 pm (UTC)

I forgive myself for the things I'm just not able to handle. It's okay if I'm not better than that right now. I don't have to have the answer all the time.

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

missaliceanne

2010-08-17 08:08 pm (UTC)

This is refreshing though truly, just the other day I had been
worried that I had done something horrible awful and goin' through
all the bad things my mind could conjure. Begging for forgiveness for
certain things I thought might have been bad enough to have breached some
boundary to make karma come back at me and my sons like this. So I have done as you asked let us see what happens. Peace and love to all- Alice

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

dumblemop

2010-08-17 08:08 pm (UTC)

I can forgive myself for having so many fears I find it difficult to breathe or move sometimes. So many other people believe in me; I can believe in myself a little more. I am more than the sum of my fears and my fears do not own me.

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

justbeast

2010-08-17 08:09 pm (UTC)

You ask a lot. :)

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

andi_sunrider

2010-08-17 08:15 pm (UTC)

I love this. Thank you for the reminder.

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

brownkitty

2010-08-17 08:16 pm (UTC)

I'm not sure I can forgive myself for not being the person my dog thinks I am.

I can, however, offer you a virtual cup of something warm and the hope that you are able to grant yourself what you are asking others to grant themselves.

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

(Anonymous)

2010-08-17 08:28 pm (UTC)

I forgive myself for being brought low by circumstance when there was nothing I could do.
I forgive myself for the fear that holds me still when I should be running full speed ahead
and I forgive myself for that extra scoop of cookie dough ice cream with caramel sauce.

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

mirrorshard

2010-08-17 08:29 pm (UTC)

I forgive myself for taking so long to get the review I just sent in finished.

*breathes*

Ooh, I can feel that lightening already. Thank you!

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

paradisacorbasi

2010-08-17 09:56 pm (UTC)

what a beautiful, compassionate thought. Thank you.

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

firebirdgrrl

2010-08-17 09:58 pm (UTC)

I forgive myself for being ill and having to spend 2 years focusing on that. I forgive myself for having to leave work because it was making me sick.
I forgive myself for wanting everything to be perfect so I don't tend to do things. I forgive myself for feeling like a failure in art, writing and work.

I forgive myself for feeling down.

Lastly I forgive myself that I still haven't quite past scarves and one hat in my knitting explorations. The day will come.

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

lady_moriel

2010-08-17 10:06 pm (UTC)

Okay, well, you are awesome for posting this, first of all. Today...basically, today I am going to forgive myself for not being good enough. I forgive myself for the fact that I'm 23, I will be going on my first date ever on Thursday, and I'm completely terrified. I forgive myself for this mess (the parts of it that are my fault, anyway), and for not being a very good grad student and not living up to a lot of people's expectations...because y'know, I may not manage the basic minimum of staying on top of stuff that my fellow grad students do, but...I have a degree, I'm working on my master's, and I have some kind of plan for my future. I mean, if I can manage that.

...look at me go back into blaming myself for stuff. NO. STOP. FORGIVE FOR FIVE MINUTES.

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

matt_doyle

2010-08-17 11:13 pm (UTC)

I forgive myself for not having written a cover letter for my novel yet. I forgive myself for procrastination and for stress-induced self-sabotage. It makes me anxious, but I am young and I have time.

Thank you.

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

sheistheweather

2010-08-17 11:33 pm (UTC)

I forgive myself for sometimes becoming so mired in depression that I cannot accomplish anything.

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

bookish_girl_

2010-08-17 11:41 pm (UTC)

I will allow myself to not only need, but even ask for help.

I just wrote that sentence in block letters on a big sheet of paper. I promise to work on it.

Thank you for the opportunity!

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

systris

2010-08-18 12:04 am (UTC)

i forgive myself for the mistakes i've made in the past ten years in my working life, love/relationship situations and other personal decisions. i am working to allow myself to understand that life is a journey with many hills and valleys - not a race to see who finishes 'first'.

speaking of which i guess i should get off this thing and continue reading the Riverworld series. thanks.

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

pocketnaomi

2010-08-18 12:57 am (UTC)

Partnerships are about supporting each other. I support cflute sometimes when she needs it; I can and have done things ranging from offering emotional comfort and cuddles when she's sad to help surviving in the water when our kayak overturned. I therefore will stop yelling at myself for having had to ask her to skip her class this evening and handle the kids even though it was supposed to be my turn, because I'm hurting so much I can barely breathe. She isn't mad at me; she just takes it as one of those unfortunate things the universe deals out sometimes. I'll stop being mad at me, too.

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

mycrazyhair

2010-08-18 01:10 am (UTC)

You're fantastic. I will work on that. It'll take some doing, but well worth the effort.

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

dragon_mintz

2010-08-18 03:24 am (UTC)

I forgive myself for the weight I still haven't lost, the mess in the kitchen, the red flowering currant that's dying no matter what I do.

And I forgive myself for being terrified of the two things I most desperately want to do with my life - for at least the next five minutes. (thank you)

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

rosefox

2010-08-18 03:50 am (UTC)

This thread is superbly awesome.

I forgive myself for being so wrapped up in practicality that I forgot to have adventures. And I will try to remember how to have them again. Maybe if I put them on the calendar...

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

dormouse_in_tea

2010-08-18 04:20 am (UTC)

I can manage at least five minutes of self-forgiveness for my decade+ neglect of my teeth.

...heck, I put on my big girl panties and have four appointments over the next two months in place to fix everything, and I have the savings to pay for it.

Maybe I'll just forgive myself entirely.

Re: I realize this isn't what you meant.

kinfae

2010-08-19 04:23 am (UTC)

I forgive myself for telling my ex-partner that I wasn't coming to visit his state on a pre-planned visit, the day we broke up. Even if telling him I didn't want to see him is what sent him looking for comfort elsewhere. Even if without it we would have gotten back together and be living happily ever after. I forgive myself. I was hurt and upset and that I managed to make my anger take such small paths is a miracle in itself.

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