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From the "You're Not Helping" Files
perfect girls
catvalente
You know, I hate to say this, from one woman to another, one artist to another. It's not a respectful thing to say, and to some extent I want to be respectful to people who inspire, challenge, and act out.

But for the love of spangles, shut up, Lady Gaga.

From an interview in the Japanese magazine, Giselle:

Lady Gaga declares she is bisexual as she appears on the cover of Japanese magazine Giselle. The 'Pokerface' singer appears on the latest issue of the publication with her hair in her trademark bow. Inside she says she could easily get with a girl but looks for relationships with men. "I am bisexual," she says. "I can go out with girls but in my opinion, love and sex are different."

My eyes went a little crossed when I read that. That is not coming out as bisexual. That's playing to the same old stupid shit of tee hee, I kissed a girl, but I only want to marry you, big boy.

I know Gaga is a gay icon and all, and most female gay icons are actually totally straight. But I don't feel that saying you could never have a real relationship with a woman and don't even look for them means you get to stick a bisexual banner on your bra and march at the head of the Pride Parade as some kind of queer sexual revolutionary. If you only want relationships with men--and she's not only saying she's only had relationships with men in the past, but only looks for them with men now, and could never love a woman--well, you know, I have a hard time seeing what's so thrillingly queer about that.

And you know, bisexual women have quite a hard enough time being accepted as a legitimate sexuality in this world without people grabbing the label (people who through wealth and fame have elevated themselves out of any culture that would bring them negative consequences for it) and then giggling that girls are cute and all, but they're not exactly husband-material, amirite?

We have a hard enough time getting relationships between women acknowledged and counted. We have a hard enough time being taken seriously as women not actually performing for the arousal of men. We have a hard enough time being in any relationship at all--date a man and you're not gay enough, date a woman and you're probably just doing it for attention. You know, til a real man comes along. We have a hard enough time without one of the most vocal and self-sexualized figures in pop culture saying shit like that. It's not edgy. It doesn't make you anymore hardcore, punk rock, awesome or liberated than Katy Perry singing that awful song.

There's no respect in saying you're bisexual and wrapping it up in a big bow that reads: maybe if I'm drunk enough I'll touch her boobs but I'm going home with a dude.

For some of us, coming out has consequences, and is difficult, and brave. For some of us, Pride is so hard to come by. Thanks for making that cheap, Gaga.

Yeah I guess you are right, but on the other hand I'd expect that she would have been exposed to a few people that are actually ...homosexual. It would take an effort to be so ignorant.

Hey, Madonna wouldn't got to Elton John's wedding because she doesn't support gay marriage. You never know.

Er... are you sure this is correct? I was surprised enough to Google it, and all I can find is Elton John saying he didn't think gays should fight for marriage, but have civil unions instead (like he did himself). And, well, performing at Rush Limbaugh's wedding, which... I don't really know what to do with.

But while it seems like he changed his mind later, it looks like Madonna's also stated she supports gay marriage.

(I'm pretty neutral on Madonna, but it would be pretty tragic if someone in her position was being an idiot about this. So that makes my day better.)

Hm, I remember all this discussion about her refusing to go to his marriage. I could be wrong, she could have changed her mind. It's possible I should not repeat things I remember from the news years ago.

Yeah, there were a lot of hits that were about them having a feud, or maybe several feuds? Or. Something. Celebrities bitching at each other yay.

And hey, it's ultimately a good thing that you misremembered; now I know Rush Limbaugh found not just one but several women who were willing to marry him.

WHAT! Madonna doesn't support gay marriage. REALLY! That is crazy. Who do does she think supports her? I guess you can afford to alienate your audience when you have that much money.